There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize