Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
