the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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