now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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