I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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