YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize