I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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