and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
