She's JV to your varsity
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
