listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
