My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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