Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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