No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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