Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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