Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
