Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
