Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
