If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
