I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
