Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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