I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
