she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
