Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
