those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
