At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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