Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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