3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
