just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
