awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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