so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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