If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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