If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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