You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
