As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
