She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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