I can text with my tongue
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
