If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
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Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
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I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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