Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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