I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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