I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
