Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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