he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
