Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
