Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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