and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
