my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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