I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
