Screwed.edu
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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