Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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