and i looked up. we had an audience...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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