The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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