As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
