the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
