I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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