rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
