last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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