And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize