I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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