So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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