I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
