i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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