he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
