she's into porn, im staying here tonight
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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