At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
